TOPIC: modus operandi of Kiran!

cupofchai,

In one of the Desi get-together, discussion about Kiran came up. What I heard was, Kiran influences girls to believe that they are being tortured and they are the victims of "Domestic Violence". Kiran then influence them to get divorce and leave them without the support later.

Proving some one is doing a wrong thing is very easy. Mahatma Gandhi influenced Millions of people to act against Government. He exerted pressure, used economics (salt satyagrah, didn't buy clothes) and used intimidation (protests..). What he did was the right thing. However, one CAN prove that he did the wrong thing.

Kiran is probably doing good work in most cases. But, my friends did not think that way. If I have to believe Kiran, I have to hear more positive things about Kiran.

@Woman -

I think this understanding of Kiran's work is misguided. Kiran's (or any other Domestic violence program) never tells or makes a judgment on who is wrong or right. Kiran's mission is not to work with the supposed "batterers" so that is why the counselors don't work with both parties (and that is not allowed in our state, either). The role of an organization like Kiran is to offer access to resources. Legal and Law enforcement make the real call on who is guilty or innocent- the judgement is based on the law, not on any influence, and is not done by Kiran staff, but by the judges, police officers, and lawyers that work with clients. There is no "influence" like you suggest - it is not the training or the place of a counselor to tell someone who is right and wrong and or to tell them to get a divorce. The sad reality is that divorce sometimes isolates a victim even more. It's not the model to break up families.

Discussion about Kiran is important and vital - it's interesting to me that AT is a forum to discuss the work of Kiran in the first place. Opinions are opinions and everyone is entitled to them. The organization was created, exists and continues to exist for a reason and dispelling myths can only be done with time. You won't see anyone from Kiran forcing an understanding about the work they do on forums such as this - but I urge you - get your information from the horse's mouth.

Kiran has a website, and email address, a phone number and staff. If no one from Kiran was at the picnic in question how do you know you got the full story? Talk to the staff yourself - read the stories of the survivors that have been on TV, in print media, and on the radio, and then add some research to your already formed opinion.




woman wrote:

cupofchai,

In one of the Desi get-together, discussion about Kiran came up. What I heard was, Kiran influences girls to believe that they are being tortured and they are the victims of "Domestic Violence". Kiran then influence them to get divorce and leave them without the support later.

Proving some one is doing a wrong thing is very easy. Mahatma Gandhi influenced Millions of people to act against Government. He exerted pressure, used economics (salt satyagrah, didn't buy clothes) and used intimidation (protests..). What he did was the right thing. However, one CAN prove that he did the wrong thing.

Kiran is probably doing good work in most cases. But, my friends did not think that way. If I have to believe Kiran, I have to hear more positive things about Kiran.

Thanks friends for keeping the discussion on.

To me, violence has many faces. I experienced the delicate one which made me feel I am not tall, I am not beautiful, my skin doesnt glow, I got no brains, I cant speak good English, I cant cook, I cant decor the house etc etc; I was never physically hurt but I was sad most of the times. I started believing that I am worthless. I forgot that I used to work and do have a masters. I lost all my confidence and now looking for a support to regain and have faith in myself.

Sanju, I knew he was married but I did not know how would he treat me in front of his White wife and my 'Indian mentality' was unacceptable to him. I never knew about 'their understanding'. I was said 'its all my khayali pulao'. I knew his limitations but I do have my limitation too and I do not believe that I do deserve the treatment that I am getting.

Not everybody is blessed with a supportive family/friend. So, I found Kiran for help with hope that they would not leave me alone after I leave the house. I really wish I read more things about Kiran and other NPOs who work well.

Looking forward.

KD

woman wrote:

What I heard was, Kiran influences girls to believe that they are being tortured and they are the victims of "Domestic Violence". Kiran then influence them to get divorce and leave them without the support later.

You believed what you heard, and that makes you gullible.

How can Kiran influence any woman to believe anything? They don't go telling women to get out of their relationship. In fact, women who want to get out of an abusive relationship come to Kiran looking for help - like this khushi. Kiran's mission is help abused women get away from their abusive partner and divorce is a perfectly legal way to accomplish this for married women.

Finally, it is up to the abused woman to put up with everyday abuses or seek help. Counseling such a woman to stay with the abusive man, despite past instances of abuse is wrong. It's like telling her that she is at fault and if she continues to be nice with him despite repeated abuse, he will change. This kind of Gandhigiri works only in movies.

It's not Kiran's job to support a woman, feed her, provide a home, clothes, car etc. Absolutely not! If you prefer being abused than having to work to support yourself, then don't complain.

Manoj,

The two days that you keep quiet on an average are really the best days. There is really no need for you to speak on ladies issues. Let them talk with out help of your expert comments.

cool_man wrote:

Manoj,

The two days that you keep quiet on an average are really the best days. There is really no need for you to speak on ladies issues. Let them talk with out help of your expert comments.

welcome back, cry baby!!

I am a very happy person, Daddy Cool .......

Manoj wrote:

cool_man wrote:

Manoj,

The two days that you keep quiet on an average are really the best days. There is really no need for you to speak on ladies issues. Let them talk with out help of your expert comments.

welcome back, cry baby!!

Hello,
Khushi,
I have read most of your discussion and be comfident and try you best leave it rest.

I think "modus Oprandi of Kiran" is a publicity instant run by kiran, if you read carefully you can figure this out. The more this publicity instant raise the more Divorce rate will raise in Asian Community. I know two of my friends one got divorce cause his wife contacted to Kiran, and the others friend wife feel sorry that she has contacted Kiran but Thank God they are still married. Organization mean work together and put people together instead of saprating them.

Organization is such good word if we fallow the right meaning if not then there is no diffrence
Organiza/tion or Sapara/tion.

Atleast check your spellings and grammar before you post.


sonu666 wrote:

I think "modus Oprandi of Kiran" is a publicity instant run by kiran, if you read carefully you can figure this out. The more this publicity instant raise the more Divorce rate will raise in Asian Community. I know two of my friends one got divorce cause his wife contacted to Kiran, and the others friend wife feel sorry that she has contacted Kiran but Thank God they are still married. Organization mean work together and put people together instead of saprating them.

Organization is such good word if we fallow the right meaning if not then there is no diffrence
Organiza/tion or Sapara/tion.

As Long as you read and understand, It should be fine. I checked the rules for Apna Triangle, there is no rule if you have spelling mistake you can't write. I will try to improve my spelling but you cool man, cool.

Sonu, don't worry. Very few at AT may be MA in English. I think you want to say that this post is a publicity stunt by KIRAN. Yes, you are correct. 'Khushi' is not a real lady but a character created by Staff members of KIRAN. They want to plant a story and start a discussion and gain cheap publicity. Let me ask few questions :-

1. Khushi says she read about KIRAN on internet. Then what does she want to know about KIRAN by writing on Apna Triangle ? All information & HELPLINE number is given on KIRAN website.

2. Does it sound true that her husband has been unemployed for 3 years. Wonder who pays for their rent, utilities, internet, gas etc.

3. She choose to marry some one who has 3 kids from a previous marriage. Is this her first marriage, then there is something really wrong with her judgement.

The way 'CupofChai' defines domestic violence is an attempt to instigate married ladies because that will help grow the business of KIRAN.

I can keep going but let me stop here. This discussion has been started by KIRAN staff members to generate publicity for their organization that specializes in breaking homes.

I have written earlier on AT about my experience with KIRAN and let me say again that I thank this wonderful organization for breaking my marriage.I appeal to all couples to resolve their differences mutually and never ever get trapped by their "TRAINED'' counselors. Thank you.

Ashu wrote:

The way 'CupofChai' defines domestic violence is an attempt to instigate married ladies because that will help grow the business of KIRAN.

Kiran does not profit from divorces, nor do they profit from spousal abuse. It's their mission to help women in abusive marriages and they are in pursuit of their mission. It's a sad reality that some men mistreat their wife/GF, including physical abuse, forcing them to seek help from police and/or NPOs like Kiran.

I have written earlier on AT about my experience with KIRAN and let me say again that I thank this wonderful organization for breaking my marriage.I appeal to all couples to resolve their differences mutually and never ever get trapped by their "TRAINED'' counselors. Thank you.

Kiran's job is not to save the marriage but to save the poor woman from her abusive husband. There is no point in couples staying married despite repeated abuse and incompatibility.

Ashu wrote:

Sonu, don't worry. Very few at AT may be MA in English. I think you want to say that this post is a publicity stunt by KIRAN. Yes, you are correct. 'Khushi' is not a real lady but a character created by Staff members of KIRAN. They want to plant a story and start a discussion and gain cheap publicity. Let me ask few questions :-

1. Khushi says she read about KIRAN on internet. Then what does she want to know about KIRAN by writing on Apna Triangle ? All information & HELPLINE number is given on KIRAN website.

2. Does it sound true that her husband has been unemployed for 3 years. Wonder who pays for their rent, utilities, internet, gas etc.

3. She choose to marry some one who has 3 kids from a previous marriage. Is this her first marriage, then there is something really wrong with her judgement.

The way 'CupofChai' defines domestic violence is an attempt to instigate married ladies because that will help grow the business of KIRAN.

I can keep going but let me stop here. This discussion has been started by KIRAN staff members to generate publicity for their organization that specializes in breaking homes.

I have written earlier on AT about my experience with KIRAN and let me say again that I thank this wonderful organization for breaking my marriage.I appeal to all couples to resolve their differences mutually and never ever get trapped by their "TRAINED'' counselors. Thank you.

DOes Kiran charge money from the clients

or they get grants etc from Federal/State government based on the numbe rof victims

KIRAN and similar organizations receive federal and state grants to carry on their so called mission. Increase in number of cases helps to justify their existence and qualifies them to ask for more grants. They will do nothing in their power to save a marriage from breaking up but rather help in the break up. I am not saying that all husbands treat their wives fairly, there is domestic violence and there must be some genuine cases helped by KIRAN. I am only talking of my own experience and sadly in my case this organization inspite of my personal appeals helped to break my marriage. "CupOfChai'' has admitted in her/his post that no organization is perfect and take it from me that all cases handled by KIRAN can not be said to be justified. At least not in my case. You are at liberty to dissect my statements and do a good job of being a PRO of such an organization. I am only stating my experience.

Ashu wrote:

They will do nothing in their power to save a marriage from breaking up but rather help in the break up.

They should NOT tell that woman to go back to her abusive husband, rather pursuade her to leave him for good.

Manoj,
You are a cheap person, what fund do you get by barking, barking and barking. Someone is just stating his experience and you are hell bent on pulling his leg. Just keep SHUT for sometimes.

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