TOPIC: Smile Please!

Hi ATers,

Hope you will start your day with a laugh
Here is my try!

One guy saying to his wife who already has 6 kids...

Roop tera Mastana, Paas mere Mataana..
Phool koi phir se na khijaaye

Goodmorning anonymous.
Please pick some nick. AT has several anonymous posters.
Jokes are back on AT.

PJ

Impact of Job Change:

A taxi passenger touched d driver on shoulder to ask something

Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath & Stopped few centimeters from a shop

The driver said: "Don't ever do that again, u scared me"

Passenger apologized n said: "I didn't realize a little touch would scare u so much"

Driver replied: "Sorry, it's not your fault
Its my 1st day as a Cab driver.I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs

Dear Google!! Please stop behaving like a wife.

Kindly let me complete my sentence before you give suggestions.


A ____ was giving Medical Entry Test.
He gave definitions as follows.
ANTIBODY:
Against everybody.
ARTERY:
Study of fine art paintings.
CARDIOLOGY:
Advance study of playing cards.
CAT Scan:
Scanning for lost CAT.
COMA:
Punctuation mark.
BACTERIA:
Back door of a Cafeteria:-P

@lifeisajoke: Nice joke!

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?” The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?” The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”

IDIOT SIGHTING

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS

A brain goes to a local bar
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."

The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."

"Why not?" askes the brain.

"You're already out of your head."

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

Bum in need of food
One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?", he asked one man.

"We don't have any money for food.", The poor man replied.

"Oh, come along with me then."

"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"

"Bring them along! And you, come with me too!", he said to the other man.

"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" The second man answered.

"Bring them as well!"

They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says "sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The rich man replied "No, you don't understand, the grass at my home is about three feet tall!"

कांग्रेसियों का नया भारत नवनिर्माण*************
राष्ट्रीय विधवा -- सोनिया गाँधी,
राष्ट्रीय दामाद-- रोबेर्ट वढेरा,
राष्ट्रीय बेंक-- स्विस बेंक
राष्ट्रीय Friend -- कांग्रेस का दुश्मन
राष्ट्रीय दर्शन-- तोड़-फोड़,शोर,
राष्ट्रीय मज़बूरी-- मनमोहन सिंह,
राष्ट्रीय नीति-- "हम दो हमारे दो" बाकी बांग्लादेशी और पाकिस्तानी को वोटर कार्ड दे दो,
राष्ट्रीय चिंतन-- कुर्सी के लिए जोर,
राष्ट्रीय व्यवस्था-- छिन्न-भिन्न, कमजोर,
राष्ट्रीय सम्मान-- Honour the Corrupt,
राष्ट्रीय गाली-- भगवा, हिन्दुत्व
राष्ट्रीय प्रगति-- महंगाई की ओर,
राष्ट्रीय खेल-- भ्रष्टाचार
राष्ट्रीय बजट-- घाटा बेहिसाब,
राष्ट्रीय अतिथि-- अजमल कसाब,अफज़ल गुरु
राष्ट्रीय पशु-- दिग्गी, राजा महान
राष्ट्रीय भांड - मनीष तिवारी ,
राष्ट्रीय ....:- कपिल सिब्बल
National Joker-Digvijay Sg

राष्ट्रीय आतंकवादियो का फाइनैंसर - महान congress.
जय हिंद..........जय भारत..................वन्दे -मातरम..
देश के सभी कांग्रेसिये बेईमान................ फिर भी मेरा देश महान.कांग्रेसियों का नया भारत नवनिर्माण*************
राष्ट्रीय विधवा -- सोनिया गाँधी,
राष्ट्रीय दामाद-- रोबेर्ट वढेरा,
राष्ट्रीय बेंक-- स्विस बेंक
राष्ट्रीय Friend -- कांग्रेस का दुश्मन
राष्ट्रीय दर्शन-- तोड़-फोड़,शोर,
राष्ट्रीय मज़बूरी-- मनमोहन सिंह,
राष्ट्रीय नीति-- "हम दो हमारे दो" बाकी बांग्लादेशी और पाकिस्तानी को वोटर कार्ड दे दो,
राष्ट्रीय चिंतन-- कुर्सी के लिए जोर,
राष्ट्रीय व्यवस्था-- छिन्न-भिन्न, कमजोर,
राष्ट्रीय सम्मान-- Honour the Corrupt,
राष्ट्रीय गाली-- भगवा, हिन्दुत्व
राष्ट्रीय प्रगति-- महंगाई की ओर,
राष्ट्रीय खेल-- भ्रष्टाचार
राष्ट्रीय बजट-- घाटा बेहिसाब,
राष्ट्रीय अतिथि-- अजमल कसाब,अफज़ल गुरु
राष्ट्रीय पशु-- दिग्गी, राजा महान
राष्ट्रीय भांड - मनीष तिवारी ,
राष्ट्रीय ....:- कपिल सिब्बल
National Joker-Digvijay Sg

राष्ट्रीय आतंकवादियो का फाइनैंसर - महान congress.
जय हिंद..........जय भारत..................वन्दे -मातरम..
देश के सभी कांग्रेसिये बेईमान................ फिर भी मेरा देश महान.


copyfrom- www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=262796577095322&id=237701741495

Sweet!!

A Hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his
teenage son was about to have an operation.
Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, 'What's that?'
The doctor explained, 'This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he
won't know a thing.'
'Save your time, Doc,' exclaimed the man. 'He don't know nothing
now.'

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.