TOPIC: Desi Bosses

Is there a way to have a poll to see how many vote which way?

Guys,

Stick with the discussion and do not get others involved. Do not start blaming others just because your past actions.

I see both parties are trying to trash each other. One trying to belittle other by implying that the person is technological challenged. Other person is trying to make the point that family is not same as employees.

So do not get emotional. Just continue discussion and do not blame others and try to figure out identities. It is very easy to prove the identities of the people posting messages.

sanjus wrote: You raise some good points - let me see if I can write something along the lines

First of all, I never said All women are the best managers - however, if they try then "can be" if they apply the home-management/organization skills. There's a subtle difference.

well, then anyone who tries can be ... why just women.

Here's how:
1. just like in a family, you don't fire non-achievers, you should make a concerted efforts to help the non-achievers in your team realise their weakness and set realistic expectations so that they can be successful.

what one should or not is a different thing ... what you write here is your technique ... it may work for you, not for everyone ... some managers may think why make an effort working with a loser when there is plenty of fish out there.

2. Clumsy & non-perfect: Well, all of us are at times clumsy and non-perfect - that's what makes us unique individual human-beings.

agree ... you were calling women organized ... I think being organized in not limited just to women

3. Cooking Vs TakeOut: Getting work done inhouse vs Outsource. Depending on the work-load and the resource capability & other factors, every manager has to take those kind of decisions in today's economy.

it's not about outsource .. it's about time management ... again a pointer to women's organizational skills which I believe is not their special skill ... I think it does not matter whether it's a man or a woman

4. Husbands doing Cleaning/Chores: Today's managers have to be willing to roll-up sleeves when the time demands. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.

if husbands are being compared with managers, wives are employees ... you now have it the other way around ... and please no cliches like "when the going gets tough ..."

5. tea/coffee in a tray with newspaper: how many do really read the newspapers in this digital world? that's the reason they come up tablets, smart-phones etc

no newspaper is just a reminder that times have changed ... you are probably still living in the era of wife being the manager at home.

another way how home and work environments are different. In a work environment, if you save from your budget, it is usually lost. In a home environment, it is a saving for later. So, usually managers have a tendency to spend their allotted funds ... not the same in household budgeting. Now budgets can be cut in either environment, but that's not what I am talking about.

Sanju,

Very detailed and I liked what you said. Especially, I liked the point you mentioned about trusting each other and being open.

I concur that mistrust leads to frequent scrutiny and micro management. Its also responsibility of the employee to build the relationship and earn respect from his/her manager.

Thanks
Satish

sanjus wrote: I think Manager/Employee relation is a two-way street. No way you can put all the blame on any one party. Both have to understand that they are working for "a company" and they have distinctive roles and responsibilities to play for individual and team's success. The manager should not be under the impression that the employee is working "for him/her".

The people dynamics are little more complex when this relation is amongst desis for many reasons - some of which have already been stated - primarily the hierarchical society, Manager has to feel that he is in control - more than control - the manager wants to show-off his/her authority.


Some of the things that worked really well in my favor in both roles are stated here:
1. Sincerity, Trust/faith - Be sincere & have trust/faith - if someone calls in sick, trust them. No harm in getting upset over things that are not in your control.
2. The manager is only as good as his/her team's performance.
3. Effective Manager gets the work done, rather than doing by everything by self. The person who tries to do everything by self is *not* a manager.
4. Set Realistic Expectations.
5. Open, Honest & Regular Professional Communications. Social communications about new gadgets, kids schooling etc should not bias an professional decisions.
- Regular Comm: Set & discuss the responsibilities/goals/expectations upfront. Monthly works better with newer employees & Quarterly works best once a rapport has been established.
- Open & Honest Comm: Review and provide timely feedback on the goals/objectives. Always appreciate the good work honestly & sincerely. Don't sugar-coat any slack - it'll bite you in future. Give a chance to the employee to present themselves for any shortcomings. Layout an action plan to overcome any shortcomings. Unless you are reasonably critical, the employee will never be challenged to grow and will never come out of his/her comfort zone (cocoon).
7. Understand, respect that all desis are intelligent & smart. There's a distinction between smart & over-smart. Give them the flexibility & space to prove their smartness. If and when they fail, help them.
8. Keep distinct boundary between social & professional relations.

Then there's 80/20 rule. As a manager, spend 80% of your time on those employees that need help and only 20% on the stars of your team.

Although, I generally follow the 20/80 rule. I'll rather spend only 20% of my time with the weak-links and 80% of my time with the superstars of the team but that's the philosophy I follow which I learned from my mentor.

One of the comment made that my manager checks on me every 2 hours.

This is a classic case of mistrust. Either the manager does not trust the employee is capable of getting the work done & meeting the commitments or employee has not been made aware of the expectations. In this scenario, the trust has to be built. The manager should feel comfortable that once a task is assigned to an employee that he/she will deliver it on time and if there are any red flags it will be raise at an appropriate time not at the time of delivery.

Work with the manager and ask about any deadlines upfront to prevent any surprises. Prove them that you can deliver what you promise. The manager will soon leave you all alone!

But it does not seem like Sanju believes in trust and confusing people and he is losing temper.

That part is completely unacceptable.

satish wrote: Sanju,

Very detailed and I liked what you said. Especially, I liked the point you mentioned about trusting each other and being open.

I concur that mistrust leads to frequent scrutiny and micro management. Its also responsibility of the employee to build the relationship and earn respect from his/her manager.

Thanks
Satish

@AT Fan, @Sanjus,

Lets not personally criticize others. Everyone one has their own style in managing. Lets appreciate the good points and politely argue points that we do not agree with.

I personally want to take this to next level. May be we can help bring together mentors and new/to-be managers. I am sure that there are great Desi managers who want to help/mentor others. It could be spending 30 minute one-on-one to help someone reach their goal. Discussing the problems with an experienced manager (or even a peer) will help us find underlying issues and identify resolution to them. Any ideas on how to bring them together?

Thanks

Fully agree.

The part I do not understand when posters run out of arguments why they start criticizing people and start using abusing language towards people who are not even part of discussion.

Is it some kind of complex they have?

Also how come moderators do not delete those messages....

satish wrote: @AT Fan, @Sanjus,

Lets not personally criticize others. Everyone one has their own style in managing. Lets appreciate the good points and politely argue points that we do not agree with.

I personally want to take this to next level. May be we can help bring together mentors and new/to-be managers. I am sure that there are great Desi managers who want to help/mentor others. It could be spending 30 minute one-on-one to help someone reach their goal. Discussing the problems with an experienced manager (or even a peer) will help us find underlying issues and identify resolution to them. Any ideas on how to bring them together?

Thanks

AT Fan,

Thanks for understanding.

My mistake, in fact I stopped Kubi from deleting the messages. I felt there are great suggestions and I am trying to steer the discussion back to being productive as a participant.

Thanks
Satish

AT Fan wrote:
Also how come moderators do not delete those messages....

Satish,

Let's not jump guns over here - it's never been my style to personally attack someone or their family members. There's a difference between personal attacks and being critical of one's work/writing. But when someone does cross that line & limit of involving family members, I need to tell them in a polite way like I did so that they get the message loud and clear - you are more than welcome to delete if you think these posts are offensive in any ways - infact the 2nd quote of A barking dog has been used by as a classic proverb in such instances by people from all walks of life. The 2nd part of this thread really started when someone, as I interpreted, was ridiculing a women manager. I am not sure what other women on AT think of such casual remarks, but surely I for one don't take it lying down and even then there were no personal attacks from my side till someone dared to get my family member involved in this discussion.

sanjus wrote: Wow - someone really want's to settle some personal scores - for the criticism I wrote a few days backs about A blog/blogger! Well, you are free to post whatever filth in your mind over here - doesn't really bother me a bit. Hope you don't express the same filth on your loved ones. Good Luck and don't worry I won't run away from here and hide behind anonymous id's.

Anonymous wrote: Seems like you would 'change' your wife if she is not good enough.

&

sanjus wrote: what can you do about A barking stray dog? better to ignore and march ahead like an elephant!

Now you'll see even more reactionary ranting!

satish wrote: @AT Fan, @Sanjus,
Lets not personally criticize others. Everyone one has their own style in managing. Lets appreciate the good points and politely argue points that we do not agree with.

Sanjus,

Let moderators do their job.

1. You are totally confused between different people. You have no clue who is posting messages. Just because you lost an argument you are taking grudge on someone else.

2. Family and business are different - as that person is trying to tell you. You insulted him/her by saying that he/she is technological challenged and then in turn she/he made the point that you can change employee and not wife in your style.

3. You are again deviating from the the main agenda. You are the one who brought family in.

4. There is no need to lose temper here.

Regardless whatever you discuss, DO NOT BRING other people in the discussion or BLAME OTHERS. Just continue with the people talking with you without making assumptions.

In fact in my opinion, you are bringing down the decorum of these forums by insulting everyone including women and men.

AT Fan wrote: Let moderators do their job.

Did I ever stop them?

You have no clue who is posting messages. Just because you lost an argument you are taking grudge on someone else.

I don't even want to know the real identities of the posters. Arguements are never won or lost - they are like 2 sides of a coin. It's ok to disagree and move on.

You insulted him/her by saying that he/she is technological challenged

Can u be more specific over here about my comments that insulted anyone since you seem to be following this thread very closely and you repeated the same comment in other message as well. If I have, I'd openly apologise.

3. You are the one who brought family in.

Really?

4. There is no need to lose temper here.

That's what you think and that's what you have been hammering around. Just calling someone a barking dog does not mean u loose temper.

Regardless whatever you discuss, DO NOT BRING other people in the discussion or BLAME OTHERS. Just continue with the people talking with you without making assumptions.

Did i take names that you got so much offended?

In fact in my opinion, you are bringing down the decorum of these forums ...

Haven't we heard this before about other posters? This is a free country and everyone is entitled to their own opinions!


I think you made your point & I made mine - let's move on from here. Let's other digest based on the various comments made rather than inferring.

Sanjus,

It is 'lose' not 'loose'.

To me you sound like a barking/stray dog. Elephant has already gone. Using these terms are clear indication of losing temper. As you say you would ask apology, I think you should apologize to all members for use this kind of language if you want to. Honestly it is not the language of educated people.

I agree these discussions are not win/lose discussions. But that person has stronger points and better understanding of the corporate culture.

My main request to you is NOT TO BRING IN OTHERS in your discussion just because of your assumption about identities.

A lot of people do not care about these discussions. No point of mentioning them and or making them check just to see if you are dragging their names for no rhyme or reason.

Continue your original discussion....

Developing a good relationship with your manager might be the single most important move you can make at your job. At the most basic level, your boss is the key to your next promotion or raise. A good manager will help you excel on the job, and pave the way for your next career step; a bad boss can cause your 9-to-5 to feel like (or actually become) a 9-to-9 -- draining your motivation, damaging your emotional well-being and torpedoing your performance.

stolen from ...

finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/112803/how-to-handle-bad-bosses-moneywatch?mod=career-leadership