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TOPIC: Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods

Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods 11 years 7 months ago #12012

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Unhappy Camper and Raleigh,

You are going against the forums rules.
Since it is a legal case/ personal issue, please solve this matter outside of ApnaTriangle.

Thank you
AT moderators
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Re: Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods 11 years 7 months ago #12014

  • Reader
  • Reader's Avatar
Moderator,

Good job. Glad you deleted this post.

(PS:- Please fix the CAPTCHA code...this my fourth attempt)

Moderator wrote: Unhappy Camper and Raleigh,

You are going against the forums rules.
Since it is a legal case/ personal issue, please solve this matter outside of ApnaTriangle.

Thank you
AT moderators

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Re: Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods 11 years 7 months ago #12015

  • Isitworth?
  • Isitworth?'s Avatar
How many people read the thread? maximum 500 views, we have 25000 indian living here. Did it make any effect? Did camper fully served her purpose? Was it worth to come here and vent and start online open fight show? Now we know lot more about two participants of Renting episode, they left lot of trails for viewers. End part was too ugly. Is it so difficult to live simple and honest life?
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Re: Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods 11 years 7 months ago #12016

  • Reader
  • Reader's Avatar
It was useful.

Isitworth? wrote: How many people read the thread? maximum 500 views, we have 25000 indian living here. Did it make any effect? Did camper fully served her purpose? Was it worth to come here and vent and start online open fight show? Now we know lot more about two participants of Renting episode, they left lot of trails for viewers. End part was too ugly. Is it so difficult to live simple and honest life?

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Re: Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods 11 years 7 months ago #12018

  • Organizzed
  • Organizzed's Avatar
Lessons learned (learning if moderators permit more posts from the respective persons):

More points need to be given for general advice rather than their personal anguish which is at the same time heard with pity and sincerity. I means checklist sort of Dos and Donts based on their experiences. At least I am “not” interested to know (or find out) who is at fault. I am more interested to know what precautions I should take if I were subject to such a situation. I read the threads with that interest rather than to develop sympathy towards renter / landlord. Don’t get me wrong that I am inhuman, but I can’t assume judge’s position without seeing the facts and figures. Developing sympathy is not the solution or alone is not enough to see that it doesn’t repeat in future. Whatever points I collected, so far are:

(Readers: please add more and more, based on your own experiences too, so that all of us are benefited)

Both:

Do not rent (let it for rent / take it on rent) without lease documentation (keep copies of those documents outside the premises so that the same could be produced to police with ease!).

Protect computers and HDD, always (screensaver, passwords are basic, true crypt, roboform and alikes are felt necessary). Carry backup, ALWAYS with you in the car / purse, not in the same house / room for the obvious reasons!

Keep scanned copies of ALL documents. If time is constraint, keep them at work rather than leaving them in room.

Landlords:

In case you want to rent on a friendly basis (unofficially), go through ‘references’ only or pay $45 - $100 and conduct background check. For example whitepages.com, intelli.us etc. The other party will “NOT” know that background check is being conducted, their consent is not required to a greater degree (except if you want educational / employment / credit history). And go for credit check as well (which can be done only with their consent, of course) subsequently.

Be extra polite with renters without sharing personal / financial details. Keep them at a distance, moving friendly at the same time.

Consider having a fire-safe (and fixing it to the floor)

Renters:

Google landlord name, phone number, etc. for general things (you never know what might come up!)

Do not keep valuables openly accessible. Consider safe deposit lockers seriously. Consider own post box for mails than depending on landlords.

Be extra polite with landlords without sharing personal / financial details. Keep them at a distance, moving friendly at the same time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Awaiting more technical / fruitful inputs and thanks for the same.
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Re: Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods 11 years 7 months ago #12019

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous's Avatar
Pay rent by check or money order or bank transfer. If landlord insists on cash, insist on receipt and draw cash equal to the rent amount on the day rent is paid.
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Re: Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods 11 years 7 months ago #12020

  • Good
  • Good's Avatar
Nice perspective, wise reader and educator.

Organizzed wrote: Lessons learned (learning if moderators permit more posts from the respective persons):

More points need to be given for general advice rather than their personal anguish which is at the same time heard with pity and sincerity. I means checklist sort of Dos and Donts based on their experiences. At least I am “not” interested to know (or find out) who is at fault. I am more interested to know what precautions I should take if I were subject to such a situation. I read the threads with that interest rather than to develop sympathy towards renter / landlord. Don’t get me wrong that I am inhuman, but I can’t assume judge’s position without seeing the facts and figures. Developing sympathy is not the solution or alone is not enough to see that it doesn’t repeat in future. Whatever points I collected, so far are:

(Readers: please add more and more, based on your own experiences too, so that all of us are benefited)

Both:

Do not rent (let it for rent / take it on rent) without lease documentation (keep copies of those documents outside the premises so that the same could be produced to police with ease!).

Protect computers and HDD, always (screensaver, passwords are basic, true crypt, roboform and alikes are felt necessary). Carry backup, ALWAYS with you in the car / purse, not in the same house / room for the obvious reasons!

Keep scanned copies of ALL documents. If time is constraint, keep them at work rather than leaving them in room.

Landlords:

In case you want to rent on a friendly basis (unofficially), go through ‘references’ only or pay $45 - $100 and conduct background check. For example whitepages.com, intelli.us etc. The other party will “NOT” know that background check is being conducted, their consent is not required to a greater degree (except if you want educational / employment / credit history). And go for credit check as well (which can be done only with their consent, of course) subsequently.

Be extra polite with renters without sharing personal / financial details. Keep them at a distance, moving friendly at the same time.

Consider having a fire-safe (and fixing it to the floor)

Renters:

Google landlord name, phone number, etc. for general things (you never know what might come up!)

Do not keep valuables openly accessible. Consider safe deposit lockers seriously. Consider own post box for mails than depending on landlords.

Be extra polite with landlords without sharing personal / financial details. Keep them at a distance, moving friendly at the same time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Awaiting more technical / fruitful inputs and thanks for the same.

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Re: Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods 11 years 7 months ago #12021

  • Anonymous
  • Anonymous's Avatar
What I experienced, no-one should have to experience. Unfortunately some people CAN and DO make life difficult. I hope no-body who wishes to live peacefully and ethically, has to go through this kind of harrowing eposiode. It is only when it happens to "you" that people care. Unhappy camper's intention was not to slander, but to inform, and prevent others from falling prey and ...I beleive she achieved her purpose. I also beleive that a lot of hitherto unseen and unthinkable preventative measures came out, in landlord-tenant cases, for which I thank the other readers who have sent their wisely put and educated informed opinions and derivations. Some good to the community has come out of this whole unsavory and sad episode after all.
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North Carolina tenancy laws follow this 11 years 7 months ago #12022

Dear Organizzed,

That was very good -informative, objective and precise. Excellently put together. If the moderator permits, I would like to add to your list of valid pointers (however ONLY for protection of tenants' as in my unfortunate situation at present, I can only view it subjectively from that angle alone)

1. Do not accept any lease which is incomplete and does not fully contain all of the clauses you have both agreed upon. And as Organizzed rightfully pointed out, keep this lease in a neutral place away from the house so that you can produce it to the police readily.

2. Enquire around with neighbours and other people around what kind of people visit, stay and/or have stayed there in the past. (It is difficult at times to get this info, but you never know what you might discover)

3. Do not pay any rent in advance, or bills in lieu of rent, even for emergency situations like power cuts, repairs, pest control or even as for that matter, water. Anything that doesn’t straight away point to 'rent' is likely to come back to bite you! and you will have to seek court intervention to seek remedies. When faced with such a situation, and the landlord does not pay promptly, just leave: It is better and cheaper and safer in the long run even if it means a period of inconvenience at first.

4. Do not entertain anyone of landlord's requests to collect their mail, look after their car, or keep an eye on their house or belongings or other tenants even on a brotherly ‘good room-mate’ basis at any point of time, and certainly do not collect rent and/or utilities from anyone else living there as this is illegal and could get you both in trouble with the law. (most people are smart enough however some may not even know what they are doing hence this statement..)

5. Do not make any changes to the house (even upon landlord's written request and promise of re-imbursement) of any sort.

6. Do not leave anything that exposes your personal confidential information around: SSN#s, bank statements, photo ID's, important docs like passport, employment papers, tax papers etc, work-related documents, even discs, thumb-drives,etc..You never know who enters you room in your absence, and helping themselves to what, that could be destroyed and/or kept back from you! REMEMBER : AT THE END OF THE DAY the landlord is the owner and he can even at the risk of breaking the law, open/break in/tamper/enter/occupy anything in the property, and even though you are the rightful tenant, this can change into the status of‘trespasser’ at any time that the owner feels like. (of course if you read the attached N.Carolina tenancy law document, you will know that all of the above is illegal but these things can happen)

6. Being polite friendly and calm at all times is the MOST important thing. Unfortunately, if the person is crooked, and harassing you, and getting to the point of extortion/abuse, there is not much you can do. Just leave at the earliest opportunity and cut your losses at that point. There IS legal recourse available later if you have done everything right, and if the moderator permits me later, I will post some developments AFTER this unfortunate case is heard and over. There are also communities you should turn to for help and guidance and if you know the same incident is likely to occur, you can warn others of potential problems such as these from happening again.

7. Get support from friends family and the community always, so that when unexpected things happen, you are well-prepared to deal with emergency situations, and have a place to go to should you need to vacate on short notice. Always keep a spare set of clothing at work/a friends’ so that your daily life and employment is not disrupted greatly.

8. Keep an inventory of all that you own and a dollar value (roughly) of the belongings you have.

8. Ask due diligence questions when you first visit:
a. what do they do for a living? Are they working in an office? Which one> if business, where is it located? What is their line of work? Who else lives there? Who is likely to share the other vacant spaces? What about the house? Is it on sale? Is it likely to be foreclosed? What kind of relationship does the landlord enjoy with neighbors/people around? Is he/she well-like /respected? Is he/she member of any local groups/churches/temples? What is his/her educational background/lifestyle like/ Does it match or resemble yours closely? What is their communciation with you like? Is it clear-cut, straight forward/written/verbal/email? Remember this is the house you are spending your balance of the day after work, and to relax on weekends- you NEED to invest more time finding out about all this. If the landlord seems 'hedgy', wishy-washy and if you even get a hint of arbitrariness in their communication, best to find someplace else.
What is their health/hygiene standards? Is it to your expectation, even if for a short term lease? Remember : while all this is time-consuming and seems tiresome, NOT asking or fidning out can cost you a lot more time, effort and money! It cost you FAR more than a decent private apartment in the long run

10. Be extra careful when they say it is an “investment’ house or non-residence. These days, many people are escaping mortgage/or abandoning their houses so you need to do these checks extra carefully! You will be left with unrefunded deposits, advance rents, bills un-re-imbursed, and other issues you do NOT want. Sometimes people even lie, so hence you are well-advised to check local police records if you can get access to them. Check even some real estate office around to see if owner has put property up for sale, and look for signs that the place is not for sale or facing foreclosure.

9. Keep everyone in your social network and family informed of your residence and if possible get to know the landlords acquaintances too.

10. Do not share mailboxes (as Organizzed rightly pointed out) as this can mean you might be denied your important and confidential mail, delay in receiving mail, and even embezzlement of checks,etc. You can transfer to online banking and credit statements if you really have to.

Most important, at the first sign of trouble: LEAVE, LEAVE, LEAVE ! Do not worry about the money because what is most important is your life and sanity first and foremost. This is NOT your home and so, YOU need to get to safety first above everything else.

I hope with this episode, people will really take precautionary measures. Good luck to all hopefully, your experiences renting or sub-leasing will be nowhere near mine.
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The North Carolina Residential tenancy overview 11 years 7 months ago #12023

www.ncbar.com/lamp/2010%20CLE%20-%20October/Landlord%20tenant.pdf

This document has more or less all the laws and by-laws that people entering any tenancy should have.

Hope it helps.
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Re: The North Carolina Residential tenancy overview 11 years 7 months ago #12027

  • Organizzed
  • Organizzed's Avatar
I thought of replying to this as soon as I read it over. I found, felt, and feel now also that I have no words to express thanks for ALL the additional points you gave. I read it again and again and again.

I can say, this is the FIRST post ever I saw on AT which has excellent pieces of valuable information (due apologies to other invaluable posts). Elaborate, HEART-felt.

After reading it so many times, now I have NO more mood of thanking / appreciating it again as firstly, I understood I can never find a way satisfying to myself to express my appreciation; secondly, I fell full / emptied completely with no further expressions.

Having said that, now, I started thinking - now what? I have two major directions: (1) continue to have more dos and donts list for other prospective tenants / landlords from other experiences (2) (more importantly) what are the various methods / steps that would bring peace / rest for the persons affected in the process so that life will continue (well, actually, life anyway continues - what to do to return to previous enjoyable life as quickly as possible:

1 (try to) forget as much as possible - as quickly as possible. Writing the whole episode in a .doc file (well, diary) with all proofs, attachments, dates, details, cross references will make one empty and hence will help 'conceive' the reality as a 'story'. Close the file forever. Do not open it frequently or review it again.

2 e-mail, publicize in as many social forums, discussion as one has - not with the intention of prolonging it - but just for recording sake (and internally, aiming to forget faster soon after recording it there)

3 pursuing (and closing) the police cases / court things / letters to BCIS (INS) (if applicable) or to Indian offices (if applicable) and India media - again the goal is to quickly vent out everything and just CLOSE the episode (no revenge taking, I mean - but seeing that the miscreant is taken to task and handing over to law of the land)

4 forget, forget, forget - go to religious worshiping places (if god fearing), do voluntary services to keep oneself as much occupied as possible, with no further discussions with anyone at all, continue old habits or develop new habits that occupy the energy (physical and mental) completely - learn new music /language / exercise, etc. can be some examples.

5 change (if possible) the atmosphere, surroundings. bring relatives / friends amidst and with a view that they would NOT discuss the past again.

6 keep healthy

I will not (try to) write on this again so that I will also try to keep the points in my notepad (for future use, god forbid, if needed) and move on.

- Nothing is going to happen today that you and your God (belief) together can't solve
- Try not to live 50 - 60 years but try to live every day

Best Wishes and Good Health...
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Re: The North Carolina Residential tenancy overview 11 years 7 months ago #12028

  • Goodmorning
  • Goodmorning's Avatar

Organizzed wrote:
I can say, this is the FIRST post ever I saw on AT which has excellent pieces of valuable information (due apologies to other invaluable posts). Elaborate, HEART-felt.


That is such a sophisticated way of trashing all forum posts and contributors. Two years of labor is proved invalid with one single post. Your due apologies are accepted but remember every query posted counts may be Nariyal Pani or Rice Rava and every one line reply counts. We value your precious presence on this site. Please continue to help all dim witted Desis.


Thankyou.
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Re: The North Carolina Residential tenancy overview 11 years 7 months ago #12029

  • Manoj Fan
  • Manoj Fan's Avatar
It is a coincidence that after I wrote about lack of activity on this great site there was suddenly lot of activity. Felt sad for Unhappy Camper. Other than verbal support most of us can't really do much. May be AT thinks of something like a hotline manned by volunteers so that let us say had Unhappy Camper called in, the volunteer could go to the site and assist in what ever way he/she could or if anything else to be a witness to the happenings and report back on AT. This way Moderators will be saved the trouble of deleting the posts and the 'community' (too hollow a word that we have borrowed from American lingo)will have a third umpire prespective.

Ms Mia not heard from you since long. Hope you are doing fine ?
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How to protect yourself 11 years 7 months ago #12030

Dear Organizzed,

Your welcome.
Thank you too, for addditonal well-informed and valuable inputs that you have provided with a view to recovery after traumatic situations. I whole-heartedly endorse your thoughts on to how to conduct life in the aftermath of unfortunate circumstances, and believe they will all work.

Coupled with what I wrote earlier I would like to simply add few more precautionary measures, some more practical insights hopefully, particularly with the view of protecting women and young students, as this is the prime targeted group for those renting out their spaces/ even employment, or any other way where these vulnerable groups are at the mercy of these people who bully and victimize.
These targeted groups in most cases do not have recourse to expensive legal settlements .
But if you are patient and resilient you will find a lot of resources are actually available! Unfortunately, many perpetrators get away, as they prey on these low-income groups who don’t know where to turn to when exploited, and would rather ‘let go’ than seek justice.

First of all my advice to ALL women, and students (esp if they are new to the country OR do not have other resources to live/work) is that

1. DO NOT take up residence/employment in dubious areas where there are no obvious previous positive records of appropriate and acceptable behaviour. In other words, the more recommended the landlord/employer comes, the better. Since my case was to do only with tenancy, I will harp on that and not employment. (however it is sad but true, since a while overseas now, I have seen that cases of extortion/harassment/exploitation/bullying/underpayment/sexual molestation and a host of other evils are occurring on a daily basis in our community where young students/women/those new to the country are exploited without qualms) While this is unacceptable and there are sometimes no means to avoid it, the PRIME and FIRST AND FOREMOST important thing to remember is that women and young students should NOT take such unacceptable behaviour lying down, esp to do with emotional or bodily harm to themselves their valuable property, when it happens. Fear, shame, embarrassment and the thought of “being an anomaly” should NOT deter you from seeking justice and alerting the community, because in most these cases where bullies and perpetrators get away this is exactly what they do in fact. They prey on the fear and shame factor especially for women, as women are more prone to feel this. I would like to tell all these exploited groups, that YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this. You should NOT let bullies and molestors get away unreported. There is a law, and you should learn how to avail of it, in situations such as the one I experienced.

2. Next, do NOT trust someone blindly, simply because they are from your part of the world. Since my unfortunate experience, I am not saying this with bitterness but rather with practicality. The thought behind this is logical: Since this is not India, Indian laws, and Indian ways of life do not apply in legal and criminal situations in the U.S, so you must take ALL precautions in matters of residence/tenancy/employment and any other area, which impacts your personal and professional life. This is the SECOND reason why some from our community are able to fool others and get away. The MOST foolish thing is to believe that just because you are Indian and they are too, that these situations will not occur But they CAN and DO.

3. North Carolina Indian community women and young students need to get together to form a formal organization for this (and other) kind of abject abuse and violation of their basic rights, and protection of their self and property. If nothing else, it can allow them a platform to get moral support and legal guidance and aid.

4. All women and students coming from India and other countries, or those moving to other cities for employment etc, must do as many checks as possible BEFORE they enter that city, a. what are the Indian community and public organizations there like? Are there any formally organized state-recognized agencies that they can go to, to protect themselves and go seek shelter if abused/ ill-treated. Do they have trustworthy relatives they can turn to in emergencies, and if not, what are their means of shelter for immediate needs/resources for correct information/ legal recourses should unexpected situations occur? My two-bit advise to ALL women here: you NEED good community support : BUILD your network of reliable family members/friends and co-workers – as many people as possible- you can turn to- so that situations such as these when they happen you are prepared to face head-on without fear of discrimination and severe displacement.

5. Women and young students : Learn to be self-reliant, learn to drive the instant you have the right, learn to attach a trailer to your car, to drive a U-haul truck if you have to ! to move in an emergency, to move to safety. Learn how to change your car tire, learn as many skills as possible! You NEVER know when these practical skills come in handy.

6. Stay healthy, eat the right food and exercise regularly to be physically and mentally strong and alert. MOST IMPORTANT : STAY CALM in emergencies. Your calmness will help you focus on immediately necessary things. You NEVER know when these skills come to your aid. Lately we have been struck by a lot of tornadoes. While my situation could have very likely been like those of the displaced in a tornado, something else unexpected like this could strike your home and life any time, you NEED to know how to cart yourself and loved ones and possessions to safety in that case.

7. Get professional help and educate yourself as much as possible in ALL cases of safety/legal//accidents/insurance/ do not neglect these or take for granted that you ‘know it all’. These laws will be your best friends later.

8. Pay ALL bills on time, be a model citizen AT ALL TIMES, even when you are discriminated in any way, and are deeply violated. Ultimately your calmness, patience and good legal standing will come to your aid.

9. The WORST thing you should do is get into ‘bad credit’ situations. Spend only as much as you NEED not WANT. Learn to Separate the two. Luckily for me, my strong Indian saving and conservative thoughts re:money have come in very handy as I arrived in the US, at a time in its worst credit crunch ever in history. Learn how to fend for yourselves financially from the day you arrive. Don’t take loans if you don’t have to and can get by on your salary savings. The thought of having a great fancy car, big house or apartment right away is very attractive BUT if you cannot afford it, or can get by for a while, spending conservatively, DO it. Use your savings to buy cash down as far as possible. Also teach your children these values of spending only how much you need. The MOST imp thing is to stay abreast of your credit payments. If you end up with bad credit, due to unpaid bills, no-one will give you anything legitimate, no mortgage, not even an apartment, so understand the credit system well , stay well clear above ALL this debt problem (actually, most Indians are smart and I think they already do this, but still, you will be surprised how many have a hard time sticking to a budget, saying no to scams and attractive ‘deals’ while shopping, not realizing the value of those words ‘ IF ITS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS !” ) It is really EASY to stay well above the credit trap, trust me. If I can do it, so can you. ALL you need is a little discipline and cultivating good habits with money.

10. Stay well away from people with bankruptcy, bad credit and indiscriminatory spending habits and or any sort. This will damage your own creditworthiness ultimately.

If permitted, I will keep adding to this general list of ‘How to Protect Yourself in America from Bad Stuff’ – a handbook for dummies )) as further insights and forethoughts come to me . I don’t know how useful this will be or not ultimately to the general community. It may well be that I am a ‘dummy’  , for all that I’m saying here is just really basic, common sense for all its worth ..but still..it is aimed more at those who are new here and may not know how things work here, or to seek protection and justice from the law, may get duped, harassed, and may not know where to turn to for guidance or support and when they do, it will be surprising how these little simple measures will come back to help or harm them, depending on how they’ve conducted their day-to-day life.

Thanks! Readers’ feedback and any additions to the above are appreciated.

P.S : Manoj fan, it is enough that you have extended me your verbal empathy. Sometimes, in times of great stress and displacement a kind word can go miles. Thank you.
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Re: How to protect yourself 11 years 6 months ago #12031

  • Manoj Fan
  • Manoj Fan's Avatar
Unhappy Camper,

You are welcome. By now you should change your title from Unhappy to something positive.:) After all the guy has been really blasted off. Though he must be reading all posts but will remain silent. Well, the long list of precautions can be made really short if Indians as employers & landlords could be AVOIDED at all costs. Not a good idea to brand every one in one class but honestly, I have seen 'residual traits' in every one from all states, men and women both including my ownself and such traits surface only when we come in contact with another Indian brother and sister who either does not have a good job or is struggling or facing tough times. So if possible stay away from own fellow men. Some things never change.
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Re: Open Letter to Unhappy Camper & Raleigh-AT mods 11 years 6 months ago #12033

  • payingguest
  • payingguest's Avatar
Unhappy Camper, You are one extremely smart,intelligent,brave,powered,informed woman then how you became victim of your landlord? Did this research and wisdom came after bad experience? All this data can be published in a small booklet.
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Re: The North Carolina Residential tenancy overview 11 years 6 months ago #12034

  • desi
  • desi's Avatar

Goodmorning wrote:

Organizzed wrote:
I can say, this is the FIRST post ever I saw on AT which has excellent pieces of valuable information (due apologies to other invaluable posts). Elaborate, HEART-felt.


That is such a sophisticated way of trashing all forum posts and contributors. Two years of labor is proved invalid with one single post. Your due apologies are accepted but remember every query posted counts may be Nariyal Pani or Rice Rava and every one line reply counts. We value your precious presence on this site. Please continue to help all dim witted Desis.


Thankyou.


I 100% agree with you.This is exactly sophisticated way of trashing all forum posts and contributors.
Dear Organized,this website has been so alive because of every little contribution from every user either it is free classified or a one line of humor in the forums.Just think before your say something,words cannot be taken back.
Thanks
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Wisdom ALWAYS comes at a price 11 years 6 months ago #12040

Dear Paying guest,

Yes. All that I write and say here has come after this experience which was like a bad movie--only this movie hapenned in real life. It made me think of so many other women and gullible people who might be caught in similar/worse situations and I just had to write to express that they should not let fear rule their lives in such situations. Their weapon should be acquiring KNOWLEDGE and the right one at that. Also learning to protect oneself while staying as calm as possible, over and above everything else in every situation.

My biggest lesson was trusting someone who I thought was from my own country, I guess that explains the mistake I made- It was a POOR call. However just referring to what Manoj Fan said ' to avoid all Indians as prospective employers/landlords etc" is maybe not something I would take an extreme step towards. My last experience renting in an Indian house in Georgia was only positive and I stayed there for a very long time happily before moving to Raleigh. I've had only positive experiences in general with Indian families in active work in the community in the U.S and other countries, and not had any issues in employment either, but I guess I have been luckier than others in that respect? This incident therefore offended my sensibilities to the maximum because of the shocking debased way one human could treat another. It was over and beyond the top!, and it offered me a glimpse as to how some Indians, just as Manoj Fan pointed out, can lose sense of basic etiquettes and fair behaviour when interacting with fellow Indians overseas. Manoj, I suspect that it is due to the case of 'familiarity breeds contempt' I guess most times, Indians think one way or other of 'home' when they meet others. "Home' unfortunately, also often conjures up images of false notions of 'superiority' because of either gender, status or simply, wealth and "power". In many cases, laws are often broken because of this false notion of 'default superior status' due to being the landlord, employer, anyone who has at the time more power than you, etc, pretty much an ego trip carried over from India, and I daresay, also mistakenly it is gender-biased ('man superior than woman'). Some folks who come from India, due to lack of education or sound ethics, learn quickly the wrong ways to use the laws here.
But the incident wisened me to all the points I wrote about, taught me how to think fast on my feet for future situations.
Imbalanced and desperately crooked people are everywhere, and they come in many forms, shapes and colors! One needs to understand the sign of the times around to know that anytime, anywhere, ANYbody could become crazy or desperate like terrorists, especially in times of great recession like what we face right now. That this should have hapenned in our (largely),educated and mostly professional community in the RTP though, was the shock factor.
I dread to think what else could be hapenning to other women who live alone who are lesser equipped than me, thats all. All sorts of possibilities arose in my mind on hindsight. One thing it has done is made me smarter, and if I can share this to inform and educate orhers, then I think I am doing my duty and serving the purpose of being a good citizen. Everything happens for a reason!

Thanks for writing and your moral support, it is appreciated.
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Insure yourself against theft and unexpcted damage 11 years 6 months ago #12041

Organizzed,

One more point I can add to the above :

Get renters' insurance. It only costs pennies a day! but goes a long way to protect your belongings from theft, fire, flooding etc (for eg. if other occupants in the house smoke you have no control over that but at least if they set fire to the house accidently, you can get compensated for the loss of your belongings!)
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